The MotherFunching Facebook 25 Things.

You know you like it. You know you read it already on facebook. Now it is recorded here for future "posterity" and not wanting to write two things in one day:

Random Facts:

1) Both sets of my grandparents, maternal and paternal, have named their dogs serially since I can remember. I.e, Dad's have had Racci 1-4, and Mom's have had Pixies 1-8. This forebodes poorly for my future pets.

2) I have no middle name. This was ostensibly so I could take my last name as my middle name once I got married. Only now, if I were to combine the names, I would be Jennifer Crist Smith. Say it out loud. I dare you. Preface it with the first name "Mary." Not plausible if I ever wanted to be taken seriously.

3) As with Megan, when I first started Lindy Hopping, I would stay out and practice and cavort at a house with a dance floor until 3 or 4 in the morning 3 or 4 nights a week and then work the next day, leading to a lethargy I didn't even know I had until I actually started sleeping. I toned it down in later years, but those times were INCREDIBLE. That's also where I met Jesse for the first time.

4) I had a breast reduction when I was 21. I lost 8 pounds.

5) I lived in Paraguay for 6 months right after I graduated high school, not having ever taken a Spanish class. It was culture shock, and looking back now I can't believe I jumped into that not knowing the basics of how adulthood worked. I didn't know anything about boys, about socially acceptable behaviour, about saying "no", about true and real boredom, or about myself. While I learned one or two of those things while I was there, the rest were regrettably learned much later in life than ought to have been the case. **Note: the Spanish remains handy.

6) I worked in private aviation for 4 years right after that. Let me tell you! Being cute and working near airplanes gets you places, literally. One time I flew to San Diego, ate at Claim Jumpers, and flew back. Another time, I got a crush on a crew member of a WWII bomber - a B-24 - that was flying around the country. After he left on the other plane - a B-17 - while the B-24 stopped for repairs, I decided it would be fine to just hitchhike on a WWII bomber with a bunch of semi-strange men to meet said crush in Oregon, with no real idea of a way home. It was AWESOME. Another other time, I rode passenger in a helicopter that could fly sideways. We chased cows.

7) I can squirt water through the gap in my teeth over 6 feet.

8) I have the worst hand-eye coordination of anyone you've ever met. I can't catch, and I sure as dirt can't throw. It is the bane of my father's child-rearing days, that he spawned children and one of them is utterly useless when it comes to anything that involves aim. You can ask anyone who's ever seen me - it's like I'm trying to throw it at the target, and my hand thinks otherwise and tosses it weakly across my body, only to spin lifelessy and angrily at least 35 degrees off from the direction I intended.

9) My sister are nothing alike except for our intelligence, we both have freckles (but they're different), and the line of our nose in profile. And yet, we never fought.

10) I have never been to Disneyland within memory

11) My favorite friend at work calls me Whoaday, because her daughter at one point decided that yelling "Put me down, Whoaday!!!" was the polite way to ask. The moniker has just stuck since then.

12) The only people from high school who would recognize me on the street are Jonathon Wolheim because we live together, and Sy Olson because we had lunch a couple of times in college. And Jeremy Walsh, because we developed a mutual friend. I was friends with none of these people in high school.

13) I work at a high-end fashion denim company, but I never wore jeans before I started there. In fact, most days I feel like an utter frump because my creativity with clothing does not extend beyond "things that generally match." This was never a problem anywhere else in the world, but now I look like what I am: from a small town. It makes me self conscious sometimes, until I go home.

14) I took ballet for 7 years until I developed human hip dysplasia. Not really, but something went wrong up in there. Who knows why dancing swing isn't as lethal as ballet, but I won't complain. I've been swing dancing on and off for 8 years - I knew Cid when he had his anime haircut and TA'd at Chico State.

15) One of the reasons I know that forces outside of just humans are working in the world is the little old lady we take care of. Story: Back when I worked as a jewelry designer in Chico, I did a diamond upgrade on the wife-ring of a prominent chiropractor in the area. Small-talking, which is my forte, I mentioned that my boyfriend was thinking of attending the same college in LA that he had attended. Fast forward a month or two, to a visit back home. Jesse is talking about going and meeting some chiropractors to get his foot in the door and learn some things, most specifically about this chiropractor who is friends with the jewelry store owner, because of his impressive resume and seemingly great practice, and the fact that he knew the owner-man. He never did it, but he always was thinking about it. Fast forward again to 7 months later, when I receive a call out of the blue from an utter stranger. Who is it? You guessed it (or not) - THE chiropractor. He remembered me from my small-talk prowess and utter trustworthiness and boyfriend going into chiropractic. His mom lives in the same town as the college, and needs a little takin' care of. So now we take care of her, and have dinner dates with the (exceedingly wonderful) chiropractor and his wife on visits to Chico. If this random series of events an occurrences does not evince some sort of supernatural fate-meddling, I don't know what does.

16) When I was youngish (16), I always imagined I would die before my 21st birthday because I literally could not fathom a life beyond that. I was convinced that my fate was short, and had accepted that. My lack of imagination did not kill me, as I thought it would.

17) I have a trade degree in Advanced Jewelry Design and Manufacture (II). I can solder very tiny things with very high melting points very well. Prolly not so well anymore, as it's difficult to maintain your soldering equipment in a second-story apartment.

18) I watch only about 10 or fewer movies a year, because I hate going to movies or wasting my at-home time watching them. Apparently, making facebook lists is less of a waste of my time.

19) Even though I have only been in his presence for a total of maybe 4 or 5 months over the span of 4 years, and communicate solely via g-chat, I would still count Glen Hinkle as one of my best friends. He's seen me grow up, and vice versa.

20) As gregarious as I can seem, on the inside I am still very shy and only let people so far in for fear that they will not accept what's underneath. This is, sadly, true for most everyone I know.

21) My husband REALLY didn't like me when we met, and for a year or two thereafter. I grew on him, apparently.

22) I have a serious addiction to craft supplies. I always want more, as if there were some way I could actually USE all of it at any point in my life. As if there were a natural disaster, and my preparedness plan would include 5 kinds of glue, infinite marking utensils of infinite colors, paper scraps, a length of aquarium tubing, some barbie parts, a tiny hammer, and a box of acrylic paint with a broken french coffee maker for a brush holder. Also some fabric for a fairy costume. Lookout! Someone is bombing Los Angeles! OH NO! LET ME USE SOME OF THIS WATER-BASED (archival quality) GLUE TO SAVE YOU! I'll make a rope out of this airy, silver fabric and you can lower your children to me! I can entertain them for DAYS!! I can use this non-toxic acrylic paint to staunch the bleeding!

23) My husband has never given me a single item. Not even a wedding ring.

24) I did not wear pants from the age of 6 to the age of 14. Not once. Not even when it snowed. I wore those cable-knit tights under my dress.

25) Sometimes I feel like my love for other people is a palpable blanket that extends from me to them. I don't know why I think this, but it seems like something I can tangibly feel, and that they ought to be able to feel it too.