Again. I mean really. Having my lats taped together with a bandaid for a week was bad enough the first time. As previously stated, just that little 3/4" x 3" piece of putty-colored tape is enough to keep you from tying your shoes (like I own any that tie), reaching the last piece of chives that blew on the floor after you tried to throw them away with the fan on, and shave the bottom portion of your calves.
Now I have to tape them together for three whole weeks. The self-same spot that required biopsy on my spine (an obvious high UVA/UVB area) below my bra strap was "abnormal", and thusly had to be all the way removed. "Below my bra strap" translates into "right where the dude puts his hand when he swings you out" while dancing. My deviant dot was removed on Tuesday, and man am I a weenie when it comes to coping for a full day. After the initial shock of the fact that I had had a piece of skin the size of a fingernail torn from my back after a SHOT, all I wanted was cuddles and attention. All I got was a meeting at work. But I milked it anyway.
After keeping the gauze on for the recommended 24 hours and claiming that as my reason for sleeping in and not showering the next morning (it's good to have a valid excuse for laziness), I needed to switch from mega-lat-tape to plain bandaid lat-tape, so I cringed and gave Jesse the puppy-dog please eyes even though he has to do it because it's on the middle of my back and also because he's my husband. So he took it off and was like "oh." I was expecting much more of a sympathetically dramatic reaction, but all I got was "oh?" So I turned around and looked at it in the mirror, and I was like "oh." I always remembered past experiences with stitches as being a row of little knots tying the halves of your recently separated flesh together like zip ties on a tarp. These are average stitches, right? I know they are because I looked up "stitches" on google images and there were pictures of those very kind of stitches.
My stitches, on the other hand, look like they were done by my grandmother, who was a very handy stitcher indeed. Or my grandfather, who may have been even better. It's like this little tiny line that looks like a mini version of a football seam - only one piece of thread with a little knot at the end. No need to worry about catching knots in bandaid adhesive, or one of them coming undone. I feel the need to get a henna football tattoed on my spine. It would look just like this:
I guess this means I can't do sit-ups. Damn.
Now I have to tape them together for three whole weeks. The self-same spot that required biopsy on my spine (an obvious high UVA/UVB area) below my bra strap was "abnormal", and thusly had to be all the way removed. "Below my bra strap" translates into "right where the dude puts his hand when he swings you out" while dancing. My deviant dot was removed on Tuesday, and man am I a weenie when it comes to coping for a full day. After the initial shock of the fact that I had had a piece of skin the size of a fingernail torn from my back after a SHOT, all I wanted was cuddles and attention. All I got was a meeting at work. But I milked it anyway.
After keeping the gauze on for the recommended 24 hours and claiming that as my reason for sleeping in and not showering the next morning (it's good to have a valid excuse for laziness), I needed to switch from mega-lat-tape to plain bandaid lat-tape, so I cringed and gave Jesse the puppy-dog please eyes even though he has to do it because it's on the middle of my back and also because he's my husband. So he took it off and was like "oh." I was expecting much more of a sympathetically dramatic reaction, but all I got was "oh?" So I turned around and looked at it in the mirror, and I was like "oh." I always remembered past experiences with stitches as being a row of little knots tying the halves of your recently separated flesh together like zip ties on a tarp. These are average stitches, right? I know they are because I looked up "stitches" on google images and there were pictures of those very kind of stitches.
My stitches, on the other hand, look like they were done by my grandmother, who was a very handy stitcher indeed. Or my grandfather, who may have been even better. It's like this little tiny line that looks like a mini version of a football seam - only one piece of thread with a little knot at the end. No need to worry about catching knots in bandaid adhesive, or one of them coming undone. I feel the need to get a henna football tattoed on my spine. It would look just like this:
I guess this means I can't do sit-ups. Damn.
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