Sunday, August 17, 2008

Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, Jackie Chan, and a guy named Sunny.


My workday is filled with drivers for various contractors signing in, delivering, mooching the free coffee, and chatting me up. Some of the drivers are silent, signing their names and completing their assigned tasks without so much as an hola. Some of them are Hola and that's it. Some of them try to chat me up in various languages. Some of them are RUDE. And SOME of them are Kevin Costner.

Kevin Costner, on the right, is a middle-aged Vietnamese man with one tooth. He speaks Vietnamese, French, and English, though I half the time he's speaking in English it's like some cryptic code that I have no idea how to break. My first day, he told me his name was Kevin, and Kevin Costner was his brother. I asked him, logically enough, why his parents named both their children the same name. He changed his story to that his own name, actually now that he thinks of it, is Kevin Costner. So we've called him that ever since. The really cool thing is that it has stuck and spread. Just the other day he brought in an invoice from an incorrect delivery from another company, and the sticky note on it said "Kevin Costner - please deliver to 7FAM" YESSSSS

Being a movie star, Kevin Costner has found his joy in the new receptionist's names. I, personally, am Janet Jackson, and later I have become Dr. Janet. I don't really even know who I am, to be honest. Jaclyn, the newest receptionist, is one Mrs. Jackie Chan, and he insists on speaking to her mainly in what little Chinese he does know. She's constantly like WHAT THE HELL KEVIN COSTNER. Jackie Chan is of Hispanic heritage, FYI. Additionally, I now work with Tom Cruise... also Mexican, about 5'2", with a fauxhawk and a lip piercing. I KNOW MOVIE STARS!

The only person to remain seemingly unscathed is Kevin Costner's brotha from anotha motha, an older Korean dude with one fake tooth and a sense of humor to rival my own (pictured on the left above). Last time he came in to pick up his check and was all "You see my broda? You punch him, OK? Just go punch him, and me pick up his check too." Deal, Sunny, deal. One day after not seeing Kevin Costner at all (I usually see him 3-4 times a day), I asked Sunny where he was. Sunny was like "Oh Kebin? I deport him to Hong Kong" and then walked out the door. How do I love them? A million ways! They are the joy of my days at work.

No comments:

Post a Comment