My roommate Margaret and I took a short walk to the drugstore the other night to get some stretchy bandaids for my grievous wounds. Of course, short trips to drugstores inevitably end up being lengthy perusals of every single non-feminine hygiene aisle in the store while talking about girl stuff.
After browsing most of the store, we happened upon a display of those foot detox patches that seem so popular with the As Seen On TV crowd. Being suckers, of course, we bought a box to split. I stuck one on my foot at about 9:30 that night, following the instructions to place on alternating feet every night or both feet every other night. By about 11:00, it had already started to turn brown and get moist. I was thinking OOH COOL.
So I went to bed. This is where I tossed and turned for hours, like a horizontal duck with one foot, paddling in circles in my sheets. My feet weren't even. I can't sleep with something on one side and not the other. I had to stick the patch to my other foot for an hour to make it "even," before I could be less restless. Obviously, if I want to continue looking at dirty foot patches, I'll have to resort to option #2, one on each foot every other night. Though I remain skeptical - I don't believe your feetskin has any capacity for releasing any toxins besides sock dirt, much less heavy metals through its pores. I feel like it's a sweat-related reaction to the brown stuff inside the patch, that makes it show up and look like it got sucked out of your peds. But I'm going to do it anyway, because... why not?
P.S. They smell just like beef jerky.
P.P.S. Maybe I'll microwave one under a moist towel and see what happens.
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