Craptop a Deux

To finish the story of the B.O.U.S., we decided after much much deliberation that it was probably time he got a new laptop, since that is pretty much all he does all day every day of his life. I am not joking. He is playing on his laptop now. He watched TV on his laptop for 8 hours this weekend. He plays facebook risk on it every day to satisfy his need for dominating the world in a non-dominational manner. He even uses it to do his homework, which is a mind-boggling task that I'm happy I'm not a part of. If we was concurrently in massage school, however, I would be more than happy to be part of his homework.

So we went to Circuit City, where everything was pretty much bobo except the one open-box item that he was iffy about because he is excessively obsessively particular about the highest screen resolution made by the world. The only reason being that he likes his fonts to be tiny (no joke, again - apparently squinting harder means you're better at life). It all means nothing to me, so all I can do is be like "whatever?" Circuit City = bobo + loud + incognizant "sales" staff.

Bobo means go to Best Buy, which we did, and after seemingly hours (maybe one), Jesse is the proud debtor of one excessively featured laptop that has orange trim, because real gamers think orange is cool. Or manly. Or something other than lame. It doesn't matter what color it is anyway, because you're so busy squinting to read the teeny tiny word in the bottom left corner that ordinarily is a "Start" button that you forget to look at the supernatural orange trim surrounding the keyboard. He also bought headphones, which, P.S., HALLELUJAH.

He also also bought Spore, which I have played but I'm a pretty lame player because all I want to do is play with the creature creator and make cows with 5 eyes and duck bills, which is not really the whole point of having bought the game Spore, but my name is on the bill, so I can make spherical cows if I want.

Craptop

So Jesse bought this laptop off of craigslist in February or so, not long after his previous laptop got stolen while we were asleep in his car on our HONEYMOON. If you can call it that.

It was a reincarnation of aforementioned stolen laptop, only real laptop reincarnations are supposed to be identical - I don't think HP goes out and makes them all just a lil' different for excitement's sake. Except this laptop was not identical. It had been owned by a GIRL. And a sissy one, apparently, though I never met her because the whole transaction was done in a dark parking lot. Wait.

To make a long story shorter than it could be, the reincarnation was crap. The hard drive clicked and buzzed and made general noises of agony. And then last week, the fan started being like "OH NOES! I'm not a fan. I am a Bumblebee of Unusual Size!" It drove me insane. Imagine trying to do your government class reading assignment about economic policy, which is hard enough to pay attention to as is, while this thing in the corner of the room is going "zzzzzzzzzkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzkkkKKKKKkkkzzz." Distracting. Jesse's temporary solution was to take the computer apart, which did indeed stop the noises because all the laptop's guts were on the coffee table. After he put it back together, not only was it still buzzing like an angry hornet, there were also two screws left over. Hmm.... GJ. Second solution: stick a screwdriver into the fan socket. It magically stopped buzzing... but the computer would have overheated and then melted, and I do not want to clean up liquid laptop from white carpet.

I was going to tell you about what we did next, but I find that I'm tired of typing, as I just finished my last US Government final, which is an essay test of 10 questions that takes at least 1.5 hours to complete because you are expected to be able to explain why the Social Security system is going to fail in the next 10 years, and explain it without exploding. I feel like the laptop now. Two screws loose.

17.5 Pounds in 5 Weeks!

I still lost to the girl who has won three times in a row by eating only cabbage soup so she can get the dollars. I feel cheated. I least I practiced some self control in the face of temptations.

I lost by 0.23%. Lame.

However, one must think that at least I didn't eat cabbage soup for 3 whole weeks straight. Also, doesn't she notice when she crows "I've lost 63 pounds in these contests!" that she did not start at 233 pounds at the start of the first Big Loser? Nono. She started at the same weight at the weigh-in of each contest.

I'm trying to make myself feel better about losing $600 by pointing at her not playing fair, but I still did not win $600 that we sorely could have used for, I don't know, rent.

I celebrated by quesadilla, which has sat in my stomach (not intestines) like a rock for 24 full hours. I don't think I'm supposed to eat that much cheez ever again in my life. And I didn't enjoy it that much, either.

Take that, fake winner! I no longer enjoy quesadillas!

Humph.

Should the Federal Welfare System be Abolished?

I wrote a paper stating that I don't think it should be, but that it could be betterly administrated. My paper consisted of many quotes and "research", and absolutely no original content. I did not care about the question. I might care more about the question if I did not have to write a 5 page, double-spaced paper with one-inch margins using Times New Roman and following generally the Chicago Manual of Style format for endnotes and reference pages. What is Chicago Manual of Style anyway? Why the hell do they keep coming out with new "standards" of reference styles so that you have to buy all the f***ing books so you know what your stupid professor wants to look at when he's giving you a grade based on how your references look, not on how your damn paper reads anyway? Paper writing makes me SO angry. Obviously. It's mostly the bibliography, though. They have always been frustrating.

Also that my roommate interrupted me at 10:30 when my paper was due at 11:00 to tell me that he'd unloaded the dishwasher enough this week and that the kitchen was a wreck so it's my turn to do something about it. I was like (in my head) "DUDE. I HAVE TO FINISH THIS PAPER NOW OR ELSE I'M GOING TO BLOW SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE WHILE I FIGURE OUT HOW TO REFER TO THE INTERNET AS A VALID SOURCE OF INFORMATION"

However. My paper is done. Life can almost resume back to normal - just one week left of U.S. Government on the internets, and then I can go back to being boring in the evenings, but less boring than a 26 year old reading about how the judiciary is elected. It still makes me angry to think about that damned paper.

**Note. Even if I only get 50/100 points, I'll still prolly get an A in the class. I'm that good at multiple choice.

Food, Glorious Food, Glorious Foooooooood

Yesterday was my first and only "cheat day" on my diet - a day where instead of eating powdered foods plus chicken n fish, I could eat whatever I felt like. I felt like Chili's, where the chips never end and the food is predictable. I did not want to try for possible greatness. I wanted something that came with french fries.

P.S. I feel like 15 pounds in 4 weeks warrants some tasty goodness.

I had chips and salsa. I decided that chips in and of themselves are mostly just vehicles for salt. They do not actually taste that good, though the crunchiness is highly desirable.

I had french fries. Also - vehicles for salt and ketchup. This is my main complaint about this diet - there is nothing that you can use ketchup on, and if it isn't obvious by now, I would like some lycopene and vinegar in my diet please. Potatoes aren't exactly flavorful foodstuffs. Just starchy vehicles for salt and ketchup, and sometimes other condiments as well.

I had a hamburger, but I couldn't eat the whole thing. It was salty and meaty and delicious. I didn't really want the bread, but then I would be even more of a mess than I ordinarily am while eating, so it's kind of a necessity. I especially enjoyed the mustard, the pickles, and the ketchup flavorings.

I came to the conclusion that all I would really need to be satisfied on this diet is crunchy things that I could put condiments on. Everything else is tasty, easy to prepare, and easy to eat. And easy to lose weight. I mean, like, DAMN it's easy. Unless you use food as a vehicle for your emotional outlet, which I sometimes did, but can't anymore because ....

As I was just typing this, I was trying to say "xx is not a good comfort food." Then I realized that I bet the reason this is so successful is because they have provided you with only comfort foods that you can have every two hours and feel thusly comforted. Milkshakes? Chicken Noodle Soup? Hot Chocolate? Nutritious candy bars? Soy cheese crisps? Pudding? Oatmeal? They are all in some way comfort foods, though oatmeal is questionable. It is warm, though.

Hm.

Creativity Unthwarted

Not really, though. I made these earring months and months ago to match a dress I have, because I am that much of a dweeb and have to have matching earrings (though it is a fairly fabulous orange dress).

What I'm actually excited about, besides the fact that I got to take them off at the end of the day because they are heavy like hanging a slice of an apple off of your earlobes, is the fact that one of the ladies at work noticed them and wants me to make her a pair and not for free. She asked me if I had a website where she could look at things I've made (I like how she assumed the plural of thingS). I do not have a website, unless this is it, and it's not a very good advertisement for professionalism and mad skills. Except spelling skills.

These are the make-my-earring-holes-look-like-vertical-mouths earrings I made: