This was the story over Thanksgiving dinner. Imagine as well my mother, a 57-year-old innocent who once bought me a hookah because she thought it was an interesting objet d'art, and who was born a 3rd-grade-teacher and was never corrupted beyond that point. Here's a photo for reference:
So cute. P.S. This story is not entirely accurate, because I only heard in the once, and everyone was hollering too much to ask for more clarification. Anyway. My brother was driving his best bud and my mom up the long and winding road from the college to Paradise where they live. Along the way, the car driving in front of them flies off the road and runs into the ditch on the cliff-face side of the road. So my family + Brad, being good Samaritans all, pull over to help him. The guy sort of stumbles around mumbling about how tired he is, and hops in the back with Mommy-O - I guess just assuming he was welcome to get a ride. So they drive to Paradise with the guy zonked out in the back, not really knowing where to go except the name of a large and long street with many offshoots. Finally, after driving up and down the street, Sleepy puts his hand on my mom's leg and tells her "I need to get out of the car." I think this is after more location confusion.
So he gets out of the car and curls up on the curb with his head between his knees. After his moment, he stands up and takes a step and falls flat on his face. Like "timber!" style. At this point (why not sooner?), the fam decides to involve the authorities, though by the time said authorities arrived, the man was knocking on strangers doors trying to find out if they were his friends houses or something. After arguing with the police for sometime about the orientation of the planet, they decide to book him. Asking my mom if there were any weapons in the car, if the dude brought anything with him and getting negatives, they all went their merry ways.
As they drive home, Mom sees Brad hand Brian back a wicked little knife and starts freaking out because they told the cops there were no weapons.!. Brad mumbles "Well, Brian told me to stab him in the hand if he kept touching you." SO CUTE, even if it involves implicating minors in a crime. SO CUTE.
This is the best part: When they pull into the driveway, my mom finds a little velvet "pillow" where the guy had had his feet, and wonders aloud what it is. Brad takes it and looks at it and opens the bag and says "DUDE. IT'S A BONG." And my mother, innocent as she is, runs screaming out of the car telling the boys to "GET OUT GET OUT!!! IT'S A BOMB!!! IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP!!!" My mom has never heard of a bong before.
Needless to say, Bradley later proclaimed that this day was the best day in his whole life.
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